Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
Deb
Sarah
Hayley
Jac
KT
Wooble
Kelli
Beck
**SCRAPPING BLOGS**
B's scrap blog
Roz James
Nic Wright
Erica Glover
Kim Archer
Mel Goodsell
Monday: Tuesday:
Wednesday:
Thursday:
Friday: Saturday: Sunday:
|
| Bummer, a gain... serves me right... |
| 05.30.05 (7:54 pm) [edit] |
Yep, I gained a bit this week. 400g, which is not too much to worry about but then again enough to worry about if its going to be a recurring thing. It's not though.
I'm really trying to pick up my act. My weight loss has been lying dormant for a few weeks now, which is just not acceptable as I had wanted to fit into my formal dress in only 3 weeks time, and now doubt I will... will probably have to purchase something new now - bummer.
I still remain over a 5kg loss though, so I'm glad of that.
Am thinking I need some new motivations to boost my weight loss again. Am thinking of getting AJ's books and/or Dr Phil's book to kick my arse into gear a bit.
After finishing uni this week I'll have plenty of time for reading!
Take care xxx
|
|
|
| |
| I feel so nice! |
| 05.28.05 (9:55 pm) [edit] |
With my NEW haircut....
I NEVER end up with a haircut I actually like, and this time I DID!! Yay! I'm feeling so good, I just love it! My gorgeous friend Hails bought me a hairdressing voucher for my b'day so yesterday we went and got it done! And I think I'm definitely going back to this salon! I love it!
So here's a couple of pics... hope you can see it ok! (I straightened it this morning, but the hairdresser also twisted is all up into cute curls and it looked great too!)
[i]I just realised that these pics look *somewhat* like the other pics on my site.... those were taked AGES ago, like late last year or something, and these were taken today![/i]
Yesterday I also thought it fitting to take my '5kg loss' pics (not that I took any when I began... this is my new $2.50 top! Cute huh!
|
|
|
| |
| Yes, I have a son. |
| 05.26.05 (11:09 pm) [edit] |
Hayley asked, and come to think about it, I might not have really mentioned him much here - guess here is like my home away from home or something like that.
So yes, I'm a Mum and have been since I was 18! My husband is his step-dad, his real dad is a dickhead and doesn't see him, but we prefer it that way actually!
His name is Jaidyn. He's 4 and a half. I will try to figure out how to post a pic and put some here - maybe on of our 'little family'...
Introducing the Mardons!
|
|
|
| |
| Ahh.... a wonderful relaxing day! |
| 05.25.05 (1:38 pm) [edit] |
Yesterday for me was BLISS!
I took a much needed day off from my evil assignments and just relaxed...
Pedicure in the morning, NICE! It was in one of those little asian salons though, so she hardly talked to me, but I just sat back on my massaging hair and enjoyed myself. My toenails look so pretty painted, so I'm going to have to make sure I do them all the time now!
Man, I feel like a woman!!
I was planning to shop for the afternoon, but met a friend for a coffee instead. We were at Stones Corner, the warehouse outlet place in Brisbane. So of course, we also found a bargain! The had 4 tops for $10 in Jeans West, so we both got two - for $2.50 each - BARGAIN!! Even if they don't get worn 100 times, so worth it hey! I got a nice teal strapless one with black beading on it though, and its REALLY nice... can't wait to go out on Saturday and probably wear it!
Then I came home and had an afternoon nap - soooo nice...
Then was the usual, pick up son, grocery shopping, cook dinner, watch Big Brother... finished by a 2-hour chat to a friend on the phone!
So I'm feeling good and refreshed, and ready to get back into the assignments today.
I can't believe I only have 1 1/2 weeks until I have finished uni forever! It feels so good!!!
Have a great day all...
|
|
|
| |
| Minor setback |
| 05.23.05 (3:49 pm) [edit] |
I was out for my morning walk this morning...
Yesterday, I felt a small jab on my left toes and just thought there was something in my 'old' shoes, or they were falling apart or something... today I felt the little jab again... stopped to take my shoes off and get the 'something' out of my shoe....
... and it turns out it was my TOENAIL stabbing my next toe. I even drew blood... :(
BRING ON THAT REWARD PEDICURE TOMORROW I say!!
So, today I'm finishing off an assignment that I should be at uni right now handing in....
Tonight I'm doing ABSOLUTELY SWEET F-ALL...
Tomorrow I'm getting my PEDICURE and spending some more of my b'day money I think!!
I deserve the break. I was almost delirious yesterday after spending hour upon hour at the computer finishing my assignment that was already a day late...
I'm just keeping the end in sight. ONLY 2 MORE WEEKS!!
Nat :)
|
|
|
| |
| No change... bugger |
| 05.22.05 (1:52 pm) [edit] |
Bugger, no change in weight today. Bugger. I sooo need to be losing every week...
I guess I have nothing to blame but myself though - eating too many carbs again, not really going by my exact eating plan, and I'm still having problems getting in the walking...
Am going for one after I drop Jaidyn at preschool today though. I need a break from sitting in front of this computer screen doing my assignments! Gosh! It's killing me!!
Weight today: 91.2kg
Change: none
Have a good day all!
|
|
|
| |
| I am so hot right now... |
| 05.20.05 (8:25 pm) [edit] |
... with my NEW CLOTHES... and freshly waxed eyebrows...
I finally found some clothes to spend my b'day money on! Yippee!! Wearhouse for Fashion had some stuff for $15 and I actually managed to get some that fit me too!
LOL... I sooo love brown that 3 out of the 4 things I got were brown... oh well... I'll look hot!!
I got: a brown ruffle skirt, a brown long top, a brown cardigan and a turquiose jumper... they all go great with the pink and black tops I already have, and jeans, and the new earrings I bought last week! Yay!!
Can't wait to dress up all spiffy for church in the morning... pity I don't have anywhere to go tonight...
Also got my eyebrows waxed for $6!! Bargain! I have never seen salon prices THAT cheap and she did a good job too so I'll probably go back... and get my eyebrows done more than once every 3 months lol!
Hope you are having a great weekend so far girls!
I better get back to those darn assignment.... getting soooo sick of them!! 2 more weeks, 2 more weeks....
|
|
|
| |
| My body and pilates are not friends... |
| 05.18.05 (12:41 pm) [edit] |
I got up at 6.20am this morning, all ready to do my Aerobics Oz Style on TV..... but alas, again its Pilates. I want the high-impact aerobics, but the day I seem to do it I always cop the pilates.
Well, at least now I have started doing it. I used to just turn it off...
So, I do the warm-up and then second session is on the floor, on my side, you know - in a straight line, shoulders and hips on floor, arm straight out the top of my head.
But for some reason, my body cannot handle these exercises. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong, how I'm holding my body wrong, but anytime I do these positions, my hips bite into the ground with every move, and I'm in agony after like 3 reps.
Can anyone help me? I'm also going to email the AOS team to see what it is I'm doing wrong.
So I gave up... I gotta try and fit in a walk sometime today while DH can look after son now.... well, at least its cold most of the day, so I can't complain that its too hot to walk at like 9am!
Have a good day all...
Oh, and thank you so much to those who read my essay. I was a little nervous putting it up, you know, that's my PERSONAL story, my writing abilities (or lack of)... its a little more personal than just my blogging I guess... so thanks for all the wonderful responses!
|
|
|
| |
| Inside the Conquering Spirit - my essay |
| 05.16.05 (9:02 pm) [edit] |
Hey girls... this is long, but I wanted to share my essay that I have just written for a uni assignment... if you read it al, thanks for reading...
INSIDE THE CONQUERING SPIRIT.
By Natalie Mardon.
I walk into the dressing room in Myer, a few size 16’s draped over my arm. I pass the size-6 mannequin giving me that ‘skinny girl’ smile of hers. [i]Skinny girls are always happier,[/i] it says. As I pull the frilly gypsy skirt over my hips, for some reason it isn’t as appealing anymore. The lacey pink singlet doesn’t do much either. As I walk back out into the store, feeling ten kilos heavier, the mannequin’s smile holds a different tone; [i]‘You won’t look any good in that. You’re too fat’[/i].
Bitch. Skinny bitch. The words go so well together.
Behind closed doors I find my best friend. She never tells me I’m fat. She coaxes me to the couch, the bed, the wardrobe, or somewhere even more hidden. She makes me feel good. Her sweet taste fills my mouth, running like a river of life over my tongue. I want more. My mind calms, emotions smooth. I am wrapped in her ecstasy. She always comforts me, at least for a few moments. For soon the whole block is gone, and as soon as I was calm, my heart races again. More, more! I tear the house apart looking for more sweet chocolate, only to be left alone on my couch, in my bed, in my wardrobe, or somewhere more hidden. I am alone again; alone to wallow in my fatness, in the hole that is my self-esteem. [i]Why me? Why me?[/i] The tears stain my pillow.
[i]You fat bitch. How could you do that? All your effort this week, and look what you’ve gone and done. You’ll wear that chocolate this week you know. You can never do this. You’re so weak.[/i]
[b]Emotions are proven to be connected to our eating. The portion of the brain that processes the smells of our food also deals with our emotions and memory. This makes for a dangerous relationship. When emotions are stirred, memories (of our mother’s cheesecake or apple pie) can also be stirred, followed by the overwhelming desire to consume. Emotional eating is among the biggest of difficulties with overweight individuals. The key to overcoming or controlling emotional eating lies in understanding and knowledge. It is not something that will be completely conquered, rather it must be monitored and controlled for the rest of our lives. Many therapists suggest patients log their emotions and when and what they eat as a result. Looking back on these logs can show when certain eating habits are triggered, and in turn, individuals can plan for alternative activities to do in these times of stress.[/b]
* * *
A new day, a fresh start. [i]Today I will be good. Today I will eat right. Today I will exercise. I am not that fat girl I see in the mirror. I am beautiful. I am in control. I can do this. [/i]
It’s that time of the week again. Sometimes I slink cautiously, sometimes I stride confidently. Always I let out a deep breath to get rid of any ‘excess weight’; some trick I learnt while dieting a few years back.
My fate lies here right now. [i]What will the scales say? A good week? A bad week? [/i]Those little numbers can change everything. Funny that. Four little numbers. I live each week for this moment. I stand on the metal indicators. I close my eyes and let out that last breath. All my hard work can be undone right here, right now. Or I can skip away happily, at least for another week. The numbers flutter up and down for a moment, then begin to flash. My heart is caught up in my throat momentarily, waiting, waiting.
[i]Yes! A half a kilo lost. A success… at least this week.[/i]
* * *
[b]Statistics show that in the US, 81 percent of 10 year-old girls are scared of being fat. What’s worse than this is that 72 percent of 7 year-old girls are dieting. Yes, that’s right – 7 year-olds. That is, young girls in grade two or three. Ridiculous. And where do they get these ideas from? Well, the ubiquitous mass media for one. On television and movies, in magazines, on billboards - everywhere - are portrayals of women that are less than achievable. By selecting models and using image-making strategies such as retouching photos, the advertising industry has elevated images of beauty to go beyond the reality of the natural female body. [/b]
I flick through the pages of a glossy magazine. Beautiful faces stare out from beautiful people, wearing beautiful gowns. Skinny stomachs reveal shiny jewels. Long, slender, tanned legs shoot out for miles from beneath mini skirts – all the rage this summer. Perfectly smooth skin.
But until recently I didn’t know how many of these images are actually fake. Fake! It turns out this ‘ideal image’ is completely unattainable, even for the beautiful people.
Just the other day, a friend sent me an email with before and after retouch photos of a young Australian singer/model. The difference, striking. ‘In real life’ she has pinky skin with goose-bumps, freckles and baggy shadows under her eyes. Bring in the cover of FHM and she has tanned, flawlessly smooth skin, and big boobs. It seems even the beautiful people aren’t beautiful enough.
[i]Revelation. I am not so abnormal after all.[/i]
* * *
[b]Eating disorders are prevailing and ever-increasing in popularity in today’s society. These include Anorexia Nervosa; weighing 15% or more below one’s body weight, characterized by eating very little and excessive exercise; Bulimia, characterized by binge eating and then purging or taking laxatives; and binge-eating disorder whereby patients cannot stop binging and therefore gain excessive amounts of weight very rapidly. Anorexia is one of the better known, a strangling disease, gripping those who are most vulnerable to the vortex of self-criticism and social body image – teenage girls. Statistics indicate that one in every one hundred young women between ten and twenty are starving themselves, sometimes to death. Anorexia is a disease that inhabits the mind, involving a serious negative image of oneself, and an obsession with dieting, taking pills and exercise. Patients who suffer from anorexia look in the mirror and see fat. They have a totally distorted and disturbed view of themselves as fat, even when deteriorating to nothing. This disease has serious mental, spiritual and physical ramifications and requires multidisciplinary treatment focusing on many facets of the individual’s life, personality and relationships.[/b]
I have often thought of myself as having the mind of an anorexic. I sometimes think just that bit further and I could stop eating; I could be anorexic. I am obsessed with body image. I look at thin girls and long to be them, long to wear the clothes they wear, long to look as gorgeous as they do, for the attention they get. It is the first thing I notice about a person. Sometimes I am a bit judgmental even, and then I look at myself again. Lucky for me, I like my food a little too much. Maybe bulimic would be more my avenue?
But really, I know better. Unfortunately, quick fix is never the way. It’s a ‘lifestyle change’ right?
* * *
Today is my birthday. Happy twenty-three to me. Now, any normal, skinny, healthy person would be looking forward to their birthday; celebrating with friends, dressing up, going out to dinner or having a party at home with a smorgasbord of tantalizing food to sample.
Me? I’m worried as hell!
A beautiful breakfast in the morning sunshine with my family. Normal skinny girls would relish in this opportunity. How often do you get to eat out for breakfast – what a delight! Me? I’m anxious as hell about making good decisions about what I eat, about not ruining everything with the wrong choice. About not gaining weight.
[i]
Oh, I’ll just have the salad please. [/i]That’s my reality. When dieting, you cannot have the bacon and eggs (sausages, hash browns and fried mushrooms included of course), the pancakes drizzled with sweet maple syrup or tangy lemon butter. When dieting, it’s about planning ahead, allocating those precious calories to every bite that goes into my mouth. Track, track, track. It’s all about tracking (my food that is). Looks like it’s the fruit platter for me. Oh what a tempting choice!
But those demons haunt my head again. [i]Just think how delicious those pancakes will be. You know how much you love lemon butter. Oooohhh… that tangy sweet butter dancing over your tongue. You know you want it. You can have it. You’re not cut out for this dieting thing anyway. Face it, you’ll always just be fat. You’re wasting your time. Enjoy the food instead.[/i]
[i]“I’ll have the fruit platter please.” I have conquered again.[/i]
* * *
It’s that time of the week again. The numbers on the scale stare up at me, deciding my fate. [i]A loss, please. I’ve been so good this week.[/i] I let out that last breath. The numbers flutter up and down and come to a rest. I squint through my eyes. My heart skips a beat.
[i]Success. A kilo gone this week. It’s a long journey, but I can do this. [/i]
|
|
|
| |
| Weekly weigh-in |
| 05.16.05 (8:57 pm) [edit] |
Yes! Another loss to register. Not a great deal, but 400g is fine with me - that's almost another 1/2 kilo gone...
The numbers are creeping up to more and more lost each time and its a real buzz! I have now lost 5.6kgs! I love it!
Nat
|
|
|
| |
| The facets of dieting... an essay. |
| 05.12.05 (5:29 pm) [edit] |
I have this 'literary essay' to write for an assignment for my writing class for uni. If some of you don't know what a literary essay is, its much like a columnist would write, a 'creative non-fiction' based on personal things, but with a deeper meaning... as I understand it to be.
I have decided to write my essay on the facets of dieting. Its going to be much like my blog - a little better written I hope, a bit more wit I also hope. A lot of ramblings I guess, but I know I can write it (in one day!).
I have been reading some blogs for research. Some of you girls can write awesomely, and it blows my mind how well words come together and how well thoughts and feelings come out on 'paper'. I just hope I can pull it off too. Thanks to Lady Miss Tree, Beck and Diet Girl for your inspiration...
The problem? Writing positively. I know that personally I have made this decision to lose the fat, and that I can do it, but really I am finding it easier to write about the negative, hard, emotional, ridiculous parts of dieting - the emotional eating, the jealousness, the fat clothes.
So, I'm just going to do it. Maybe take it as a progress piece. Or a slice of my 'before' mentality. Sure, I still have some of these thoughts (don't we all lose control a bit?) but they are much more escalated in my essay.
It's going to be fun. If I get it all out and I want to share, I might just.
I could have really done with some more time to write this. But that's life huh. Busy, busy, busy. Deadline, deadline, dealine. I would have liked to give this to my editor budy Brooke for some constructive criticism, and I may still. Probably not before handing it in though.
*Lifestyle-wise*...
I walked this morning! Yep. I can get back into this! Tell you what though, I can tell the fitness I've lost in the last 4 weeks. I was just nowhere up to scratch today. I only did a shorter walk too. I'm guessing I'll work my way back to where I was. Its all a process right.
I have my food diary on my fridge, all planned out. Its getting harder and harder really. I think I really need the guidance of the points as I have no idea how many I am consuming, I just go by food types. But if I lose, I guess its successfull enough, and points might have to come into place later. Maybe when I have a job I can spend money on WW meetings.
Take care.
Nat :)
|
|
|
| |
| Woohoo!!! |
| 05.09.05 (4:19 pm) [edit] |
Amazingly, I hopped on the scales last night for weigh-in, and I have passed my 5kg loss! Yay!!!
Weighed in last night at 91.6kg. This is at night, and pre-TTOM so I'm sure it can't just be low weight time. Its for real! I have lost 5.2kgs so far!!
And it feels SO GOOD! I have always struggled to lose weight, I lose 1kg then gain it again and give up. This time, even though I've kinda gone off my diet this last month of prac, I AM STILL DOING IT!! I'M STILL THERE! And this time I KNOW I can succeed!
5kgs down! 15 to go!
I have 6 1/2 weeks until my church formal dinner, where by then I have to fit into my dress. (Or hell, I might buy a new one if we have some $$!) I tried mine on though and it won't do up at the back, however I think anpther 5kgs and it will! If all else fails, I do have a pink one (a friends wedding dress!) which I can wear the skirt of and get a top to match, but I really want to wear my black one, so darn it, I'm going to fit into it! Sure, I can lost 5kgs in 6 weeks can't I?? Damn straight!
Congrats to Hayley and Adam on their engagement! Wonderful news!
Lets do it girls!
Nat :)
|
|
|
| |
| Getting back on that wagon!! |
| 05.07.05 (1:07 am) [edit] |
Ok... no more excuses! Its time to kick this in the bud for me!!
I have a serious deadline and its getting closer! I have at least 5kgs to lose by 24th June - thats about 6 weeks. Can I do it? I darn-well hope so, and I'm going to darn-well try!!
So, I only have two days of prac left... and while I will be *totally* snowed under with assignments over the next three weeks (then I'm finished my degree FOREVER!!)... I will do this. I miss my exercise heaps, and will need it to help keep me sane!
I will be on here more too, and need your support girls! Getting back on can be so hard!
But I can do it. I'm off to write up this week's eating and exercise plan right now! Take care xxx
P.S. A SUPER BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL FRIEND BROOKE FOR TOMORROW!! I hope you have a fantastic day sweetie (but not too much of that cheesecake!!) Love ya xxx
|
|
|
| |
| No loss no gain... |
| 05.02.05 (12:02 am) [edit] |
and I'm happy with that. I haven't been expecting losses of late, as I haven't been exercising. So no gain is good!!
I would really like to make a loss this week though, no matter how small!
And a big congrats to Brooke for reaching first goal of 5kgs loss! You are a trooper and I'm so proud of you!!
|
|
|
| |
|
Hi, I'm Natalie, a 23 year old early childhood teacher, wife, mum to a 4 year old terror.. I mean angel... and daughter of the Most High God. I haven't really treated my body too well for like... my whole life, so I'm setting out to change that. This blog is mainly about my weight loss journey - the highs, the lows, the challenges, the joys... but you'll come across a few other things in here too, things to do with my career, family or hobby scrapbooking. Thanks so much for reading, and please leave me some comments!
Age: 23
Height: 182cm
Starting Weight: 96.8kg
Current Weight: 93.2kg
This week:
Total Lost: 3.6kg
Goal weight: 75kg
Next mini-goal: 89.9kg
REWARDS:
5kg loss: 91.8kg
reward: pedicure
acheived 9/5/05!
7.5kg loss: 89.3kg
reward: AJs book
10kg loss: 86.8kg
reward: new clothes
12.5kg loss: 84.3kg
reward:
15kg loss: 81.8kg
reward:
17.5kg loss: 79.3kg
reward:
20kg loss: 76.8kg
reward:
Goal (!!): 75kg
reward: REBEL camera!
Week 10 - Loss - 1.4kg
Week 9 - Gain - 0.2kg
Week 8 - Gain - 1.4kg (shit!)
Week 7 - Loss - 1.2kg
|
